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God wants the best for us in every area of
our lives. This includes relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends. We
should date for fun, friendship, personality development and selection of a
mate, not to be popular or for security. Don't allow peer pressure to force
you into dating situations that are not appropriate. Realize that over 50% of
girls and over 40% of guys never date in high school. The Bible gives us some
very clear principles to guide us in making decisions about dating.
- Guard your heart.
The Bible tells us to be very careful about giving our affections, because our heart
influences everything else in our life.
Above
all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23).
- You are known by the company
you keep.
We also tend to become like the company we keep. This principle is
closely related to the first one and is just as important in friendships
as in dating.
- Christians should only date
other Christians.
Although it is fine for Christians to have non-Christian friends, those
who are especially close to our heart should be mature believers who are
seeking to follow Christ with their lives.
Do
not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians
6:14).
- Is it really love?
1
Corinthians 13:4-7 defines real love. Ask yourself these
questions:
- Are you patient with each
other?
- Are you kind to each other?
- Are you never envious of
each other?
- Do you never boast to or
about each other?
- Is your relationship
characterized by humility?
- Are you never rude to each
other?
- Are you not self-seeking?
- Are you not easily angered
with each other?
- Do you keep no record of
wrongs?
- Are you truthful with each
other?
- Do you protect each other?
- Do you trust each other?
If
you answered “yes” to the above questions, then 1 Corinthians
13says that you truly have a loving relationship. If you
answered “no” to any of the above questions, then maybe you should discuss
those issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
How far is too far?
Many
students ask the question, “How far should I go on a date?” Here are some
principles that will help you decide what is appropriate behavior on a date.
- Does the situation I put
myself in invite sexual immorality or help me avoid it?
1
Corinthians 6:18-20 says to "flee from sexual
immorality." We cannot do this if we are tempting
ourselves through carelessness.
- What kind of reputation does
my potential date have?
When you accept a date you are essentially saying, "My values are
the same as your values." That in itself can put you in a position
you may regret later. Remember 1
Corinthians 15:33, "Bad company corrupts good
character."
- Will there be any pressure to
use alcohol or drugs?
Don't give up your values for a date.
- Am I attracting the wrong
type of person?
Make sure that the message you send with your actions doesn't attract
people who will lead you to compromise your values.
- Am I aware that sin is first
committed in the heart?
Matthew
5:28 says, "But
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his
heart."
- Are you going to the right
kind of place for a date?
Many good intentions have been forgotten because the temptation and
opportunity were too great.
- Am I doing anything to
encourage sexual desire?
Don't engage in any impure contact that is sexually motivated, such as
petting.
If you have already
gone too far, why stop?
- God is forgiving.
1 John
1:9 tells
us that God is faithful and just to forgive our sins if we confess them.
You can start fresh with God anytime you want to.
- God is holy.
His word tells us that sexual sin is wrong, and He knows what is best.
- God is caring.
God knows that going too far before marriage tends to break up couples
and leads to less happy marriages. He knows that most guys do not want
to marry a girl who has been intimate with someone else.
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